The Twits
Автор книги Roald Dahl
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What a lot of hairy faced men there are around. Nowadays, when a man grows hair all over his face, it is impossible to tell what he really looks like. Perhaps that's why he does it. He'd rather you didn't know. Then there's the problem of washing.
When the very hairy ones wash their faces, it must be as big a job as when you and I wash the hair on our heads. So what I want to know is this how often do all these hairy faced men wash their faces? Is it only once a week, like us on Sunday nights? And do they shampoo it? Do they use a hairdryer?
Do they rub hair tonic in to stop their faces from going bald? Do they go to a barber to have their hairy faces cut and trimmed? Or do they do it themselves in front of the bathroom mirror with nail sizers? I don't know. But next time you see a man with a hairy face, which will probably be as soon as you step out onto the street, maybe you will look at him more closely and start wondering about some of these things.
Mr Tweet was one of these very hairy faced men. The whole of his face, except for his forehead, his eaves and his nose, was covered with thick hair. The stuff even sprouted in revolting tufts out of his nostrils and ear holes. Mr Tweet felt that this hairiness made him look terrifically, wise and grand. But in truth, he was neither of these things.
Mr. Twitt was a twit. He was born a twit, and now, at the age of 60, he was a bigger Twit than ever. The hair on Mr Tweet's face didn't grow smooth and matted as it does on most hairy faced men. It grew in spikes that stuck out straight like the bristles of a nail brush.
And how often did Mr Twitt wash this bristly nail brushy face of his? The answer is never. Not even on Sundays. He hadn't washed it for years.